[ Gamora has already been crying. She feels like she's done more crying in the last few days than she has in her entire life up until this place. Fuck Norfinbury. Seriously. She wants to reassure him. She wants to be the voice of reason and hope. But she's holding a tiny lifeless hand in hers and nothing feels like it will be all right again. ]
[ She can't talk without her voice cracking. She's leaning against a wall, tablet resting on her legs as she curls in on herself. Rocket is next to her, and she knows that he's gone, but she can't leave his side. Everything hurts, and there's nothing she can do about it. ]
...were you guys with him? I mean...did he just...
[This was too much. This was one time where he wished he didn't have such a vivid imagination, he could just see Rocket falling over in the snow--Rocket had such a forceful personality that made him seem so much bigger, made him forget that he might be not as physically strong as they'd all thought. Or maybe he'd been sick? That was just as bad, Rocket suffering and probably not telling anybody--]
I wish I was there right now. [His body would be gone before he could get nearer. He couldn't even say a proper goodbye.]
Maybe...[He wipes his nose with his sleeve.] ...he won't be gone too long. [Denial would make it easier than to think about the fear that he might not be back.]
[ Her voice catches, and there's seriously not a single part of her existence that doesn't hurt right now. ]
He tried to bring him back, but it didn't help. He was so excited to get back to you. In his way. [ Which means he complained about it and made it into a huge burden, but would have torn to shreds any obstacle that stood between them and Peter. ] We were talking, and then he went quiet, and then he just--
[ Talking about it does not help. It just makes it hurt more. ]
[At least Rocket...didn't go out still thinking that Peter was dead. And that was a tiny comfort.
He hates the way her voice catches, he wants to be there so bad, and he can't. He feels like he's a million miles away.
There's an irrational part of him that's still angry at Stephen, he's a doctor, he should have done something, but there wasn't anything he could do. What could he possibly do?
He's quiet a long moment, his shoulders shaking as he tries to keep it in, but he can't. He really can't, it's been too much. All of this, the thousand-plus years he thought he'd been trapped here, all those fake memories, then dying, and then Rocket--he needs to be strong, Bluestar told him a leader needed to keep it together, be strong for the others, but he can't even be strong for himself right now.]
This place sucks.
[It's all he can manage to articulate his feelings.]
[ Which, all right, that's not exactly a unique thought. Everyone here must hate it. Everyone must want to be able to leave. That doesn't make the pain she's feeling any less real. ]
[A heavy sigh. It takes a few moments, but he manages to collect himself enough to talk. It makes his voice raw.]
I don't know why we came here. Or how.
Sometimes I...wonder if it might be because we flew into something we shouldn't have, pissed off someone entirely too powerful...what if it was the Infinity Stone?
I'm sorry. If I had anything to do with it. I'm so sorry.
[ Is that really a promise she can make, though? Is that a promise any of them can make, given what's just happened? ]
Will you play me a song?
[ Never mind that she's the one with the Zune. He can still choose. He can tell her what to play, what she needs to hear right now. He's good at that. ]
[ Gamora shifts and shuffles around, digging out the Zune with one hand and finding the song. She still hasn't let go of Rocket. She's afraid that the moment she does, he will disappear. It's too much.
She starts it playing without much trouble and closes her eyes against the pressure and sting of the desire to cry. Why can't she keep them all? Why can't she keep them safe? ]
[ Her breathing is shaky. She's showing way too much of what makes her soft and breakable to people she doesn't truly know yet, but Stephen. He stopped, dropped his things. Rocket went down, and he nearly froze himself trying to save her friend. That makes him one, too, doesn't it? So maybe it's all right to let him see her cry.
She wants to be stronger than this, though. She wants to not have to say to Peter what she says next, to not have to need to hear his reply. ]
[Hearing her say that, letting herself be vulnerable, knowing how difficult it was for her to let people in, is almost too much, and he's already crying enough as it is. There's almost a growl as he tries to wipe his face, clear his throat, and be the tough guy he wants to be--
--but he can't. Not really. He's not nearly as tough as he imagines he is.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-19 03:58 am (UTC)...Peter.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-19 04:01 am (UTC)He's...
[Peter pinches the bridge of his nose, holding in a torrent of feelings.]
I'm sorry I wasn't there.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-19 04:11 am (UTC)[ She can't talk without her voice cracking. She's leaning against a wall, tablet resting on her legs as she curls in on herself. Rocket is next to her, and she knows that he's gone, but she can't leave his side. Everything hurts, and there's nothing she can do about it. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-19 04:42 pm (UTC)[This was too much. This was one time where he wished he didn't have such a vivid imagination, he could just see Rocket falling over in the snow--Rocket had such a forceful personality that made him seem so much bigger, made him forget that he might be not as physically strong as they'd all thought. Or maybe he'd been sick? That was just as bad, Rocket suffering and probably not telling anybody--]
I wish I was there right now. [His body would be gone before he could get nearer. He couldn't even say a proper goodbye.]
Maybe...[He wipes his nose with his sleeve.] ...he won't be gone too long. [Denial would make it easier than to think about the fear that he might not be back.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-22 10:22 pm (UTC)[ Her voice catches, and there's seriously not a single part of her existence that doesn't hurt right now. ]
He tried to bring him back, but it didn't help. He was so excited to get back to you. In his way. [ Which means he complained about it and made it into a huge burden, but would have torn to shreds any obstacle that stood between them and Peter. ] We were talking, and then he went quiet, and then he just--
[ Talking about it does not help. It just makes it hurt more. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-23 02:59 am (UTC)He hates the way her voice catches, he wants to be there so bad, and he can't. He feels like he's a million miles away.
There's an irrational part of him that's still angry at Stephen, he's a doctor, he should have done something, but there wasn't anything he could do. What could he possibly do?
He's quiet a long moment, his shoulders shaking as he tries to keep it in, but he can't. He really can't, it's been too much. All of this, the thousand-plus years he thought he'd been trapped here, all those fake memories, then dying, and then Rocket--he needs to be strong, Bluestar told him a leader needed to keep it together, be strong for the others, but he can't even be strong for himself right now.]
This place sucks.
[It's all he can manage to articulate his feelings.]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-27 01:26 am (UTC)[ Which, all right, that's not exactly a unique thought. Everyone here must hate it. Everyone must want to be able to leave. That doesn't make the pain she's feeling any less real. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-01-27 03:08 am (UTC)[A heavy sigh. It takes a few moments, but he manages to collect himself enough to talk. It makes his voice raw.]
I don't know why we came here. Or how.
Sometimes I...wonder if it might be because we flew into something we shouldn't have, pissed off someone entirely too powerful...what if it was the Infinity Stone?
I'm sorry. If I had anything to do with it. I'm so sorry.
no subject
Date: 2018-02-03 07:00 am (UTC)[ Then she stops and actually thinks about it. ]
I don't think it's your fault. Did you pick up something stupid during this latest restocking stop? Any glowing rocks or strange machines?
no subject
Date: 2018-02-03 08:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-06-13 07:00 am (UTC)[ Said with the sort of tight anger in her voice that means an ass kicking may well be in his near future. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-06-14 12:23 am (UTC)[He's much more certain, now.]
no subject
Date: 2018-06-30 04:46 am (UTC)I know. I know, I'm sorry--
[ She doesn't apologize often. This is just too much for them, too much pain. ]
Peter, I can't.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-12 04:12 am (UTC)Then don't. Just...
[His voice catches.]
I'm here. Just stay on the line with me a little longer.
no subject
Date: 2018-07-18 05:22 am (UTC)[ Is that really a promise she can make, though? Is that a promise any of them can make, given what's just happened? ]
Will you play me a song?
[ Never mind that she's the one with the Zune. He can still choose. He can tell her what to play, what she needs to hear right now. He's good at that. ]
no subject
Date: 2018-07-18 05:12 pm (UTC)[Okay, that's...he can hold onto that.]
...Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
[He knows what she means, and he knows the list by heart. This one's good. This one's got good memories with it, too.]
no subject
Date: 2018-07-30 06:51 pm (UTC)She starts it playing without much trouble and closes her eyes against the pressure and sting of the desire to cry. Why can't she keep them all? Why can't she keep them safe? ]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-01 01:55 am (UTC)It was the time for music, and music helped. Music healed, even if he wasn't ready for healing yet.
He knows so well the importance of music at a time like this.]
no subject
Date: 2018-08-01 04:44 am (UTC)She wants to be stronger than this, though. She wants to not have to say to Peter what she says next, to not have to need to hear his reply. ]
Don't leave me again, all right?
no subject
Date: 2018-08-02 03:39 am (UTC)[Hearing her say that, letting herself be vulnerable, knowing how difficult it was for her to let people in, is almost too much, and he's already crying enough as it is. There's almost a growl as he tries to wipe his face, clear his throat, and be the tough guy he wants to be--
--but he can't. Not really. He's not nearly as tough as he imagines he is.]
You don't gotta worry. I'm not gonna leave you.